Be Brave, Little One
by Mrs Doctor Who 11
Summary: Set after The Asylum of the Daleks, that night in the TARDIS.


He's sat in an armchair in the library when Amy walks in. It's late at night and Rory's peacefully snoring and she's learnt to sleep on her tummy so when the nightmares find her and she screams she doesn't wake him, but tonight the sleep hasn't found her yet the nightmares still have.

Chased from her room by visions of Rory's deaths, of Dalek infested people tearing the Doctor limb from limb, of her daughter's mouth stretched into a silent scream as the cry of "Exterminate!" brings the walls of the room crashing down around her. So here she stands, at the doorway of the library with the swimming pool and every book you could ever need, watching the Doctor sit, silent, still, sombre. Between a finger and thumb he holds the edge of his lip and his brow is furrowed. Most would think that he was confused, but Amy knows him well enough to see through his attempts to hide his sorrow. It has been ten minutes of silence where neither move, and Amy is beginning to think he hasn't noticed her and is considering slipping away when he speaks.

"She was brave. That made it worse. It's always worse when they're brave. Oswin Oswald. Friend of God, uncertain and possibly divine power. Oh she had power alright. She made every Dalek forget me. Just like that."

"Because she was a Dalek." it's all Amy can think to say, but the Doctor's eyes flash in anger and he jumps up.

"No!" he barks, making her jump. "Because she was clever! Because she had such an imagination that she could create a world for herself inside her own mind! Because, even when all hope was lost for her, she didn't lash out and hurt others, desperate to not be alone in her suffering - she helped us escape, ensured our safety. Even while her world fell apart and she found that nothing was real anymore, she still kept a clear enough head to get us out of there safely! She was brave, braver than you or Rory or me, and straight away the thing you pick out is that she was a Dalek! You think she did what she did because it was easy? Because once she was a Dalek, hacking into the system was simple? No! She did it because she cared about others! But this isn't the thing you pick up on, oh no, you humans always see the evil sooner than you see the good!"

There is a pause, where Amy stares at him and he cools down, his breathing slowing.

"Who was she? You knew her, didn't you? Is she a friend? A relative?" a pause. "Is she your daughter?"

"No! No." he sighs heavily, calmer. "That's the thing. She wasn't targeted, she wasn't brought there on purpose. She was... she was just another human in the wrong place at the wrong time."

There is another silence.

"I shouldn't have shouted. I'm sorry. It wasn't aimed at you, just... human's in general." the Doctor ruffles his hair.

"Sorry for being so... human." she aplogises, smiling.

"Sorry for being so... Timelord." he grins back.

Suddenly she bursts into tears.

"Amy? Amy, what's wrong?" he is at her side in an instant.

"I can't do it! I can't stay with him! I said I would but I can't!" Amy sobs.

"What? Who?" the Doctor is oblivious.

"Rory! I can't have kids, and he wants them! It's why I was divorcing him, because I can't stop him from that, from having his own children, he'd resent me forever!"

"So he wanted to leave?"

"No! No, he wanted to stay, but I just couldn't... it's his dream, I-"

"Maybe he doesn't care. Maybe he doesn't need kids if he's with you, maybe that's enough."

"No, he said that but I know he'd regret it later. I just... I'll be fine when I find someone who I love and who doesn't mind not having kids." she sniffs and attempts to compose herself.

"Amy. Look at me. I think anyone who's with you would be stupid to throw away what you have together just because you can't have kids." he smiles at her.

She leans forward and kisses him.

Just as she is sure she feels him kiss her back, she pulls away, realising what she has done.

"I'm sorry, I just... I'm confused and... I shouldn't throw this on you-"

"Amy. I don't want kids." he says as she is walking away, and she stops and turns cautiously.

"What?" she says.

"I don't. It's just... I was a father on Gallifrey and I had seven children. I just think that if I have any more it'd be like I'm replacing them and I can't I just-"

"That's exactly how I feel about Melody!" she gasps, and then elaborates. "When I found out I couldn't have kids, it hurt both of us. But it wasn't just that I couldn't have kids - I didn't want them. I just thought it was unfair to Melody, that her sibling should grow up with all the things we couldn't give her. So, so I'd just feel guilty if I had another baby. Like I was using another baby to make up for the years I lost with her."

"Then... then do you think we could...?" the Doctor doesn't finish his sentence, but Amy knows what he means.

Nodding, she kisses him again.

"Amy." he speaks against her lips and she pulls away. "This isn't fair on Rory. You can't cheat on him."

But then, as the Doctor walks away:

"No! I've waited for this my whole life, I've waited for you to come back to me all these years, you are not getting away now Raggedy Man!" Amy's fiery temper shows again as she marches towards him.

He looks at her, thinking almost exactly the same thing. He looks at her, pulls her into him and, for the first (but not the last time) that night, he kisses her.

* * *

Rory understands. He's upset, but he understands; after all, this has been a long time coming.

And so it is that a year or so later, Amy and the Doctor are almost at the end of a visit to Rory and his new wife Fiona. Just before he leaves, the Doctor makes his way up the stairs and into the room of Rory and Fi's two year old daughter.

He kisses her head as she sleeps, the head of a child just like the one he and Amy can never have, and whispers in her ear.

"Life is hard. Not everything you do will be easy, but you have to keep a clear head and think of what's best for everyone, not just yourself. So be strong. Be kind. Be forgiving. Be happy. And most of all, little one... be brave."


End file.
